mind_the_muse :: February :: 5 Days...

Five days you never had and one day you did.

five dates Allison Cameron never had. & one date she actually had.

1. They know this isn’t going work. In fact, she’s not really sure what this is about, but she’s got a feeling it has everything to do with professional power-plays. She wondered what kind of sex could kill you, which turned Chase from cocky to clumsy. He asked her out; she said no, because she’d already said yes to Foreman. She doesn’t want anything more than a professional relationship, and once Foreman gets back to being honest with himself, he’ll come back to that side of things. The only difference today is that they noticed she was a female who has an interest in sex. They’ll never be anything more than colleagues except perhaps friends – they’ll never be Eric and Allison, only Foreman and Cameron. This is just dinner, nothing more.

2. Sebastian Charles asked her to Africa and to dinner. She isn’t going to Africa, but dinner isn’t an ocean away. His plane leaves tomorrow, and he thinks he can persuade her to change her mind. She’s on her second glass of wine, and he’s telling her stories of patients – he knows them by name, cares for them. He’s devoted his life to fight TB, so vested that he even has the disease and is willing to forgo treatment in order to make a statement. She thinks she ought to fall in love with him, but Chase’s words are ringing in her ears – he’s not House. She wants glass number three to prove Chase wrong, but she knows – oh, she knows – it won’t.

3. This is a show of sympathy. He’s been giving her funny looks ever since she broke down over a cancer patient, after she told him about her husband. But now he knows the whole story – the part about Joe that she keeps as her own little secret, tucked away in photo albums and memories that make tears sting the corners of her eyes. It’s late when he calls – he says he had to work late, but she believes he’s lying. He agrees to pick her up; she’s already had two glasses of wine to drown the memories. They’re going to get coffee, perhaps dessert. That’s all this will be. She can’t actually date Wilson. House would never drop it once he found out. Besides, this isn’t really a date – it’s coffee, one cream, two sugars, with sympathy on the side.

4. It’s out of order. Dinner should come before sex. It would’ve if she hadn’t been high when she called him, but then, dinner was never the plan when she called. She’s come down from the meth, taken her anger out on the patient, and crossed out another day with a neatly drawn red X on her calendar. He calls her, to make sure she’s alright. She isn’t alright because she might have HIV, but then that’s what led to getting high and sleeping with Chase in the first place. She meets him for a late dinner, to smooth things over, to make sure that it won’t happen again – that they can go back to being just friends, colleagues. She knows it would’ve been alright without dinner, but she doesn’t feel up to being alone tonight. Chase knows it too, but he’s smart enough to leave it unspoken.

5. He asked her out to prove a point – to prove she’s only interested when there’s something to nurture back to health. She said no, and he smiled so smugly because he thought he won. He claimed to be healthy, but she knows better – they all know better. She says yes, almost as an after-thought. He makes a show of carrying both of their drinks from the bar to the table, even gestures as if to say look, no cane! He takes a sip of scotch and looks pleased with himself. She rolls her eyes, sipping her own drink, not certain what she thinks of herself. This almost feels normal, decidedly less awkward than that one date they went on. She decides she can’t be healthy either if this, if going out for drinks with House, feels normal. He offers to walk her home, and she thinks it’s the first time she’s ever seen him smile and mean it.

+

1. She isn’t sure now which was worse – the date, or the harassment from everyone else. They all acted as if she was crazy, like she was going out with Jack the Ripper. She only agreed to come back if House would take her out on a date. He agreed to dinner, nothing more but nothing less. He gave her a corsage, which she thought was lovely – and, really, an oddly kind gesture because she doubted he would actually put any sort of effort into this. But, he made reservations at Café Spiletto. He compliments her earrings – her mother’s, so naturally she’s touched. He attempts to compliment her shoes, and she sees where it’s going, down the awkward path of small talk. She knows she has one shot at this, so she tells him so. It sort of works out as planned – and by sort of, he doesn’t tell her how he feels about her, but rather the reasons why he assumes she wants to pursue him. He orders the puttanesca; she orders the ravioli. They go back to exchanging small talk over wine. She doesn’t think this will happen again and tries to just enjoy whatever sort of thing this is.

Current Mood: artistic

fandom_muses :: February :: Broken

The broken locks were a warning; you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded; I'm an open book instead
Broken – Lifehouse


She tries to be guarded, but she always gives herself away – a look, a smile, or sometimes even an admission to unravel the whole thing. She’s never had much of a poker face, no matter how long she practices in front of the mirror. But she’s trying so hard this time – though, grades were never given for effort, only for precision, and this is a matter where it’s too gray to be precise.

Sometimes she wishes she had the sort of relationship with her brother where she could call him, talk about her day, and have him figure it all out for her. But they aren’t like that. She’s just Allison to him – silly Allison who ran away to medical school, silly Allison who forgot the way the back home. But her brother likes games of strategy, and she sometimes tries to will herself to show him her cards. He won’t understand though. He never has, he never will – he’s her brother, not her friend.

She has a friend though, and he knows everything – he’s seen all of her pieces scattered across the board, including the ones she has hidden up her sleeve. But just because he sees it all, understands it all, doesn’t mean he can provide a solution. Comfort, though, he provides quite nicely - comfort, company, and the keeping of secrets, much better than she could if they were hers alone. No one knows the truth about them – no one who matters to her, anyway. But, she doesn’t feel they’re living a lie – it’s not quite that. She loves him. He loves her. She’s not the one for him, and he’s never been the one for her – she knew that when she came up with this plan, but he likes to steer off-course until he finds the answers for himself. She doesn’t mind, so long as House doesn’t know until she’s ready. She’s still got answers to figure out on her own before she can stand the scrutiny.

Seeing the game from a distance gave her time to pause, to think, to re-evaluate. But now, she finds herself in the middle of games again, and the feeling is uncertain. She plays to win – she’s won twice now, three times if she counts the three weeks she was completely undetected. She doesn’t count that, typically, because she was hiding, not playing hide-and-seek. For now, she’s one step ahead – a cautiously optimistic step, but a step nonetheless. She’s holding onto that precious step, trying so hard not to let her guard fall this time, not until she’s ready.

Current Mood: optimistic

mind_the_muse :: January :: I don't know how...

I don't know how it happened...



I don't know how it happened – when it changed from being colleagues, to friends, to uncomplicated sex, to nothing, to relationship. That's how she thinks of it, when she's had an extra glass of wine and feels so inclined to wax nostalgic. She can't go back and say when it changed. They were just colleagues – still are, as Cuddy still signs their respective paychecks, they just head the calls of different departments – who had one accidental, weak moment that quickly turned into sex. She was high; it's a long story that she doesn't tell often. She didn't think of him then – only as her colleague, the guy she worked with who was nice in comparison to House and Foreman, but who isn't?

She decided one day that being alone wasn't working. She didn't want a relationship either. She just wanted something to pass the time until something real came along. She made a list, narrowed it down to the least likely person she could possibly fall for, and decided that Chase was the best guy to have a casual, uncomplicated friends-with-benefits thing with. It worked, for awhile, until he wanted more and she wanted to run. He told her every Tuesday that he wanted to be with her – his supposedly friendly, gentle reminders made her grow to hate Tuesdays, until House fired him. Maybe that's when it changed, when he wasn't there – for almost forty-eight hours he just wasn't there to look her, tease her, remind her he had feelings for her. It was something, anyway, that changed, that made her show up at his door and say she didn't want to wait for Tuesday – but, she still doesn't know just how it happened.

Current Mood: calm

Oh! Many thanks to chasemd & gimpy_doctor for the neat little gifts on my profile! They're so adorable.

House? What's with the handcuffs?

Oh, and did you see the bracelet in every girl's dream - the blue box from Tiffany's? Yeah. chasemd is my best friend, forever. Seriously.

Current Mood: bouncy

Happy Birthday to me!









ooc: So, why is today Cameron's birthday? Because, the most awesome person ever writes mr_colbert, not_a_savage, & sorta_like_711 - and today happens to be her birthday. And, not_a_savage has my birthday, because, hello, Em & I love each other like whoa. :) Feel free to harrass/stalk/whatever Cameron with birthday goodness.

Current Mood: amused

theatrical_muse #24: Enough Sorrow

"There's enough sorrow in the world, isn't there, without trying to invent it."
E.M.Forster, A Room With A View.



She wanted to do something good. She told herself that was why she chose to come back, to be an attending in the ER. It was to do good, to do something productive with her impulses to always do the right thing. She even joked it was simply to get it out of her system. She liked it, at first, but now she finds herself wondering if it was really such a good idea. She had painted a pretty picture in her head of healing the sick, bandaging hearts and wounds at the same time. But instead, she passes all the interesting people upstairs to diagnostics while she tends to the drunk, the high, the misfits of New Jersey. She sees a lot of crazy people, a lot of people who don’t care, and she feels sometimes like she’s slipping into one of those places, to either crazy or just not caring.

Sometimes she wishes she had never resigned, but in the same thought she reminds herself that she doesn’t regret her decision. She wanted to be with Chase, to see where things could go, to get over and away from House – she accomplished the getting away part, for a little while. But, somewhere along the way, things changed. She’d never been a big fan of New Jersey, but she found herself missing it. And once the attending job came open, she applied for it without even mentioning it to Chase – she didn’t even tell him about it until he heard a message from Cuddy on their machine.

She loved it, at first, but then she loved a lot of things at first, until the new, shiny feeling wore off. The first three weeks were great; she felt as if she was tiptoeing on eggshells, hiding from House like a game of hide-and-go seek. It was halfway through the third week that it started to get to her that he hadn’t noticed. By that time, Chase was there too and working in surgery. She didn’t mention it – even once House noticed her, she didn’t mention much about her worries over work. She instead got entirely too involved with House’s team, game, whatever they call it – which made for more bad days, with Chase and Foreman. She managed to distance herself, to just throw herself into her work, but she didn’t find it nearly as rewarding as she had hoped.

The days take forever to slip by now. She often feels more frustrated than anything else because her patients aren’t really looking for help or kindness – sure, there’s the occasional accident victim, but they just want to be sutured and cleaned up, no hugs or tearful thanks. This wasn’t the job she went to medical school for, but she doesn’t really know what else to do. She can’t leave Princeton again – not yet, anyway – but she can’t really give herself a good reason why, without bridging a gap between topics that she’d rather avoid altogether. This was the path she chose, and though she doesn’t necessarily regret it, she does find herself wondering why… to which she can only remind herself that she wanted to do something good.

Current Mood: drained

eclecticmuses :: January :: I turned on the light...

I turned on the light, and. . .


I turned on the light, and it felt entirely too normal. It shouldn’t have been normal, because I wasn’t supposed to be there. I don’t work upstairs, in diagnosis, or for House. I have no reason whatsoever to go up there, but I did. I went to the diagnostics office – which, really, is just his office as he’s never been one to share – and just sort of stood there for a few minutes. He wasn’t there, otherwise I would’ve had to come up with a reason or retreat very quickly, both which might have been better for my mental health.

The door wasn’t locked. It never was, mostly because though House would leave at a descent hour, his team would normally be there all night, unless it was a rare case that didn’t require 24-hour supervision. I didn’t see anyone from his new team; I don’t know that any of them are trustworthy, but I do know that they aim to stay in my good graces since I’m often the one who refers their cases. But, I stepped inside and flipped the light on.

I can’t honestly tell you what I went there for. I had to repress the urge to go start a pot of coffee or to go and check House’s email. I walked inside and sat down at the table, staring blankly at the white board, as if I expected a diagnosis to just appear there and tell me what the hell I was doing. I didn’t stay long – just long enough to breathe in the little things I miss. But, I left after about ten minutes – flipped off the light and shut the door, as if I’d never been there.

Current Mood: blank

fandom_muses :: January :: New Year's Resolutions

If you made a New Year’s Resolution, do you honestly believe you’ll keep it?


A bed that's warm with memories can heal us temporarily
The misbehaving only makes the ditch between us so damn deep
Built a wall around my heart; I’ll never let it fall apart,
But strangely I wish secretly, it would fall down while I'm asleep
Maroon 5 // Everyday


It’s simple enough, she tells herself as she looks to her reflection. Mirror, mirror on the wall. She shrugs and notes a dull ache in her shoulders – it’s where she carries her tension, but until there’s somewhere else to put it, the dull ache remains. She doesn’t even know who’s to blame anymore – whether it’s him or her or someone else altogether. She promised herself she would try. That was her resolution, or something like it.

This was what she wanted all along, though it’s funny how she has to remind herself of that these days. She wanted simple and uncomplicated, no feelings attached or involved really, just someone to come home to and play around with until the right one comes along. She isn’t sure about that plan anymore. Fundamentally, she supports it still. But, it’s that part about the right one that has her stuck. What if the right one already came and went, but still stops by with misanthropic banter and commentary? It’s a hypothetical. She’s never been a good liar.

She loves Chase, but she’s not in love with Chase. It’s like a bad line from Dr. Phil, but it fits. He’s her best friend, her sometimes boyfriend, her lover, her room-mate, her carpool, her – well, she can’t say everything, but she wants to say her everything and mean it. They did the exclusive thing. It worked while they were in Arizona, albeit briefly. She found herself waxing nostalgic on House and jumping too eagerly at a chance to go back. It took House three weeks to notice, but she was content in the fact that he noticed at all. That really should’ve been a red flag that things weren’t quite okay, but no, it took getting entirely too involved with his team – enough even to be caught by Chase – in order to signal a problem. Oh, and that damn documentary, but she doesn’t like to talk about that. She’s not a schoolgirl with a crush on the teacher. It’s not like that. It’s not anything close to – well, she still isn’t a good liar.

Alone is a concept she isn’t fond of. She’s been there, done that. It doesn’t exactly make the days pass by with ease. And, she does love Chase. There’s a level of comfort with him that she isn’t certain she’s shared with anyone else – with even her late husband. But, they both have needs that they can’t fulfill for one another. It breaks her heart a little, but she won’t let it show – she can’t really lie, but she hide and bury things so far beneath the surface. So, they’ve made it full circle, landing now in the place that she planned when she first proposed the idea of having not a relationship but just uncomplicated sex. Well, sort of, anyway. It was still something of a relationship as there happen to still be feelings attached. It’s comfortable and open – open to possibilities, to when the right one comes along, to whatever. It somehow feels okay and right and normal, for now. Secretly she worries about the day that his right one passes through and steals him away – she likes to tell herself that it won’t hurt much, just like ripping a band-aid off, but she worries silently. She never really stopped to think how it must’ve felt to him when she awkwardly confessed to the cameras that she loved Dr. House and proceeded to make a complete fool of herself. And, she never really thought about what would happen to them if House ever looked her way. But now that they’ve reached this open place, she finds herself fretful over the end of it, whenever that may be.

She promised herself she would try to make the best of it. She’s happy – happier than she’s been in a long time. Things are comfortable and content – she has someone to come home to and care for. Her basic needs are met, and she cares for him. She can’t be his everything, just like he can’t be hers. And, it was mostly her idea, the open relationship, and she promised herself in the New Year’s toast that she would try to make this work. She isn’t entirely certain why – perhaps it’s the safety blanket of their relationship, the closeness they share, how deeply she cares for him. It’ll be fine for now, if she can stop thinking about the later.

Current Mood: contemplative

Let me first go ahead and apologize in advance if you see this post pop up a couple of times. I'm posting it in my character journals. I don't have too many, but for people like alan_shore & mr_colbert, they'll have to scroll a lot! :)

Well, I've been on hiatus, and I just haven't been able to post here yet. And, by here, I mean my muse journals. It's been a weird month. I was in a very bad car accident on December 11th. My car is completely totaled, and I've been recuperating. I'm very lucky in that I didn't break anything - I had some nasty bruises and walking has been a tad painful, but I'm about 99% better.

So? I'm in the process of getting everyone caught up. I'm planning to get topics written this week and come off hiatus. It's a work in progress. If I've missed anything really neat? Or, if there's something you need one of my characters for? Comment or shoot an email to senshi[dot]saturn[at]gmail[dot]com (or to my personal email, if you have it).

XOXO
Nic

cross-posted to: ilookgreat, most_amazing, katie_lloyd, dontcallmekitty & blurbinprogress

Current Mood: calm

theatrical_muse #23: Control

Control

She has a degree of control. It's not something she's accustomed to, but she thinks she might like it. She's not his team, no longer involved, and yet she has that fleeting gleam of power. She's an attending in the ER. When the interesting cases come in - the ones that catch his eye - they often catch her eye first. She tries to distance, to remain professionally distant, yet the control is a feeling that buzzes around her and often leaves her with a file in hand, marching to the diagnostics office or paging one of the new lackeys.

Sometimes she loses the control - over herself, at least. She doesn't remember what questions were asked; she only remembers her fumble, her admission - a guilty one, at that. She felt awkward then, like a blushing schoolgirl caught red-handed writing a love letter. She still feels awkward; the supposedly Freudian slip has left her feeling unwelcome in familiar places.

The trouble is that she does love him. She has a boyfriend - if she doesn't remind herself of that, then she's certain somone else will, likely Chase himself. But, she still loves him - House, she loves House, and she's kicking herself for it. Those degrees of control are slipping a little every day, and she's yet to figure out how to regain lost ground.

Current Mood: aggravated

Jacam. RP for [ not_a_savage ]

This is so totally AU. We haven't really decided where it fits. But, it's for the creative purposes of me and not_a_savage to create the most angsty AU ship ever. Cam is, of course, always available for canon RP and what not. This particular bit is one of those random AU things that happens when we're bored and when someone's muses want to get into my muses pants. :) Carry on...



It’s not often when a patient requests her by name. Every now and then, some relative of a patient that was saved courtesy of Dr. House will recognize her or ask for that nice, girl doctor who worked for House. That’s about as far as it goes. She doesn’t mind the lack of recognition; in fact, she finds something nice about the anonymity of the ER. But, today, she’s been requested by name – not just her surname, like her colleagues call her, but rather, her full name – Dr. Allison Cameron.

There isn’t a chart – there’s the beginning of one, courtesy of a nurse whose name has suddenly escaped her. The patient’s name is Jack Shepard, which doesn’t mean a thing to her as she stares at it, looking for some explanation. She reads through the scribbled notes on the chart. The only realization she’s come to is that he’s the guy they saw on the news – the one who jumped, attempted suicide. Her shift hadn’t started yet; she saw the majority of it on news clips at home – it interrupted her reading an email from Chase about how he still thinks of her, and really, she welcomed the interruption though it was a disturbing one. But, now he’s her patient, apparently. Per the notes, he’s sustained several broken bones, internal bleeding, at least one concussion. Somehow they’ve managed to put Humpty-Dumpty back together again through the marvels of modern medicine, yet he’s asking for her, which makes no sense.

She steps into the room in the ICU, and she thinks he might be asleep – understandable, given the drugs and trauma he’s been through today. She looks over the chart of vitals at the end of his bed, peering over it to catch the occasional glimpse. She still has no idea who this man is, but before she can attempt to piece anything else together, he’s staring back at her. She almost jumps, but somehow manages to remain relatively composed.

“Hello, Mr. Shepard,” she says politely. She steps a little closer, placing the chart back in its place at the end of the bed. “I was told by the previous attending that you had requested me to continue to monitor you. You have me for the next twelve hours – though, you will have to share me with the other patients.” She smiles; humor has never been her forte. “So, how is it that you know me?”

Current Mood: confused

fandom_muses :: November :: Kaleidoscope

Kaleidoscope


I wasn’t paying attention. That’s what it was – sort of. I was paying attention to my patient and thereby not to the cameras. Seriously, I mean that. Also, I’m fully aware that the camera crew is long gone; they’ve probably already pieced together their documentary. If anything, my comments were probably edited in such a way to paint House in a more human light. It was a sound bite – nothing more.

But, speaking of lights? That’s what threw me off. The lighting in the ER is bad enough sometimes – all the overheads, and that one area where the lights flicker like a strobe, which Cuddy has says she will have fixed but never actually will. But, then the camera crew comes in while I’m with a patient and has all their bright lights in my face. It made my eyes think they were trapped in some bizarre kaleidoscope – like when you look a light too long or when a camera flash goes off and you see those little blobs of color floating around. It was over stimulating my eyes, which made me make a comment about House being stimulating, in a non-erotic sense, because my eyes were being over stimulated by the lights.

I did love working with House – Chase thought that would be a good way to spin that, since it’s actually true, and the camera crew would have no reason to not believe me since I was always the moral, ethical one on the team. Okay, maybe I went and found Chase because he didn’t actually have anything to do until House figured out what was wrong with the kid, but that’s irrelevant – so is the part where I explained to Chase that I zoned out and told the cameras that I love House, because at the moment, he’s not upset with me, so we’re going to ignore that part, and I’m sticking with my version of the story that Chase was helping me find a way to possibly qualify my qualifications.

I wasn’t paying attention to the questions and was further throw off by the lights over stimulating my eyes. That’s my story. I’m not one of House’s pretty and stupid lackeys. I’m a smart attending physician in the ER who should be taken seriously – except for on that particular documentary.

Current Mood: aggravated

eclecticmuses :: November :: Letter

Write a letter to your younger self.

Dear Allison,

I’m going to tell you a story. You still like stories, don’t you?

Once upon a time, there was a little girl. She was very smart and wanted to be a veterinarian when she grew up. She had her own little doctor’s kit, and she would try her very best to make sure all of her stuffed animals were healthy as could be. She even tried to nurse the household pet back to health, even though he wasn’t actually sick. Her brother thought she was a little weird, but she knew what she was doing.

Well, when the little girl grew up, she went to college and fell in love with a handsome prince. The prince, however, was very sick and wasn’t able to ride a white horse or carry her off into the sunset. He was kind though and didn’t have a lot of time left. The girl married him, and they lived as happily ever after as they could. She was very sad when he died, but she knew she’d done the right thing – everyone deserves to be loved.

She decided to go into people-medicine instead of animal-medicine. She wanted to make other people healthy and happy. So, she went to medical school, and she graduated in the top of her class. She worked for a little while, then she got a job in a very special program with a sort of mean doctor. The doctor reminded her of animal-medicine because his bark was worse than his bite. She thought he was wonderful; he just thought she was pretty, like art in the lobby.

It’s been three and a half years since she met the doctor. She worked for him, then moved to the emergency room where she thought she could do a lot of good. She fell in love with another doctor who is from Australia and very sweet. But, she still thinks about the grumpy doctor who walks with a cane. She thinks she might love him, but she really doesn’t know.

The story isn’t complete yet. When you grow up? I hope you can complete the story, because right now, the girl is absolutely stuck.

Love always,
Dr. Allison Cameron

Current Mood: calm

theatrical_muse #22: Intrigue

Intrigue

He’s right, and he shouldn’t be. He’s supposed to agree with me, but he can’t because he’s right. For someone who isn’t on House’s team, I keep getting involved with House’s team, and I have to stop that. I miss the intrigue – I think that’s the root of the problem. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy working in the ER – I’m an attending, and it’s a fast-paced, hectic job. But, despite the fact that it’s fast-moving, the subject matter tends to be typical textbook stuff. I help a lot of people, do a lot of good, but sometimes I find myself feeling bored.

There’s a rush you get when there’s that case that doesn’t seem to have an answer, but it does, if you work hard enough. I miss that. I stay busy, I work hard, but there’s never that sense of intrigue. My job sometimes feels like advanced clinic duty, and though I do like it, I miss being on House’s team. My fellowship is over – that was my doing, I quit – but I can’t seem to let it go. Chase is right, but it’s easier said than done. I have to let go of it – let go of House. I just haven’t figured out how to let go of something that I never quite had a hold on, something that I miss every day.

Current Mood: calm

fandom_muses :: October :: Temporary

Temporary


She tells herself the interest is temporary. If it was anything else, then there would be a plethora of problems with Chase. She’s likes the problem-free aspect of their relationship, so she chalks the interest up as temporary, nothing more.

But, when a patient comes into the ER with symptoms that can’t be explained? That temporary interest sits comfortably at the forefront of her mind, tapping his case accordingly. She refers patients, copies charts for however many employees he has these days, brings him coffee – whatever it takes. She’s taken a weird interest lately. She knows the names of his new lackeys – he only knows them by number and the occasional rude nickname. She defends them, makes a bet, advises them.

He’s noticed – the he in question being House, not Chase, for which she’s immensely thankful for the time being. He won’t give her the spot in his fellowship back, though she insists she doesn’t want it. He believes she misses checking his mail and controlling at him. She finds it amusing; no one controls him, yet she finds herself curious about that. She pays for his food, but she wins the bet.

But, the interest is temporary. She keeps telling herself this, in hopes that it’ll become true. She loves Chase, simple as that. But, she finds House very difficult to shake now that she’s back.

Current Mood: calm

theatrical_muse #21: Lost [RP for mr_colbert & perhaps alan_shore

Talk about something you lost.


Cameron has lost touch with a lot of people over the past few years. She can only blame herself for that, though her long hours and previous boss certainly could hold the majority of the blame if she’d let them. But, the fact is that she started losing touch when she got married. Few, if any, understood why she’d married a dying man. She spent all her time with him then, only pausing to go to class, but coming back to his bedside. After the funeral, she became comfortably detached, burying herself in studies and work.

She’s in a better place now; she knows that. But, she finds old habits hard to break. Her hours at the ER of PPTH are long but workable. Her free time is spent with Chase, when their schedules match; sometimes he’s stuck in long procedures, and she ends up at the grocery store or cleaning their shared apartment. She’s making an effort though – really, she is – to reconnect with those she’s lost touch with. She doesn’t honestly know who she still considers to be a friend, as it seems that most of her previous ones made little effort to check on her; there’s the occasional Christmas card or voicemail every so often.

However, on her day off, she receives a worrisome voicemail from Stephen – she refers to him by only Stephen because he’s become well-known and likes to keep a low profile from time-to-time. She had just read in the paper about his upcoming presidential run in South Carolina. But, his voicemail is hardly enthusiastic; in fact, it sounds like panic. Apparently, Stephen Colbert believes he’s come down with a case of word salad, which he feels he caught from their mutual friend Alan Shore.

Well, there’s really no reason for Stephen to fly to Boston – though, he even says on the voicemail that he doubts they’ll let him fly. But, he’s not exhibiting the classic sign of word salad – he’s speaking perfectly clearly, no misunderstood words jumbled in the mix. She shrugs and dials his number while flipping through one of her textbooks for him, “Stephen? It’s Allison. What’s wrong?”


Muse: Allison Cameron
Fandom: House

Current Mood: accomplished

eclecticmuses :: October :: Moral... [RP for gimpy_doctor]

The moral of the story is…


…getting drunk never ends well. But, at the moment, Cameron isn’t concerned with the moral of the story or even how the story ends. She’s still at the beginning portion of it, nearing the middle perhaps.

It had been a long day at work – a miserable, long day. She enjoyed her work in the ER because it was reassuring, somehow. She was able to do a lot of good without fear of mockery – but then, she does find herself missing the snide, side commentary. However, despite her feelings for her new job title, it still presented with long days – occasionally longer days than when she was in her fellowship with House, though it was easier to stick to a schedule now. Today was just one of those days. One of the other attendings had called out, and naturally she volunteered to work the extra hours to cover the floor because there was a waiting room filled with patients that she longed to help. Okay, so maybe House was right with the pathetic line of thinking where she was concerned, but she couldn’t help herself – she did have a longing, a need perhaps, to help.

She shrugs now, at her glass still half-full. She believes it’s drink number three, and she’s optimistic that if she sticks to that belief, it just might turn out to be true. Somewhere in the haze of patients and charting, she had lost track of Chase. If her now fuzzy recollection was correct, then Chase was stuck in a rather long surgical procedure. They had made plans before work to meet at their usual restaurant, to sit at the bar and have a drink or two. So, here she is, sticking to the plan, forgetting until comfortably numb that Chase isn’t likely to come. She shrugs and finishes off her drink, pushing the empty glass away from her in order to help her deny that she consumed it.

She is quite content to sit and nibble on her dinner, drink another perhaps. She looks at her phone, hoping to see a missed call from Chase and sighing when there isn’t one. They aren’t fighting – no, it’s nothing like that – but somehow Tuesdays have lost their charm. It’s Tuesday, and she’s alone. It’s no one’s fault, really, but it’s always nice to have someone to blame. As she starts pondering over just who to blame, she hears a familiar tapping on the floor behind her. She feels her back involuntarily straighten, but she won’t turn around. She knows who it is, without missing a beat, even though the world is decidedly blurry. “House.”

Current Mood: drunk

OOC: Whee! It's new layout time! This is mostly due to the fact that Cameron is now blonde. But, I found this neat-o icon while cruising about the internet, and it inspired a layout with matching userinfo! Like? Dislike? Love me and love my layout anyway? :P alan_shore said I'm a genius! That counts for something, I think.

So, Cameron hasn't been much with RP lately. This is mostly due to the fact that my dad was in the hospital for a bit, my job got very stressful/toxic, & I got rather ill. But? Dad's home & I'm starting a new job at the end of the month. So, I can actually play again! If you'd like to play with Cameron? I'm still a little slow with tags, but I can play a bit! :)

And now, back to your regularly scheduled Cameron! Whee!

Current Mood: artistic

Surprise. [rp for she_shepard

Allison usually called first. She didn't just pop by to see her sister. They didn't work like that. It's not because they couldn't work like that - as far as she knew, anyway - but visits had to be planned since such things usually involved time off from their respective hospitals and round-trip tickets. But, she needed Addie - not phone-call Addie or email Addie, but just big sister, make-the-world-okay Addie.

She flew from Princeton - of course, the last time they'd talked, she was still in Scottsdale and brunette. She was back in New Jersey, blonde, and silently fearful of her red-headed sister's temperament about such things. She would be supportive. She was Addison. And, she wasn't in Seattle anymore - which, was better for everyone, quite possibly. She'd only visited her sister's new place in Malibu once - just before the call from Princeton, actually. She drove her rented car from LAX to Santa Monica again and hoped Addison would be happy to see her.

Oh, Allison took in a deep breath and let it out slowly as she parked in front of Oceanside Wellness Group. Everything was okay, really. She was still happily attached to Chase. She accepted a new attending position at the ER at PPTH. House said her blonde hair made her look like a hooker and he liked it - though, in retrospect, that shouldn't have meant anything, really. But, she was back in New Jersey, with only herself to blame, and in dire need of a sisterly pick-me-up.

"Addison," she called, as her heels clicked against the floor of the lobby. She gave a little wave across the room. It was decidedly different from Seattle Grace, but she liked that part best. Addison could be happy here, maybe. But making Allison be happy in Princeton again? That would take a little sisterly magic. "Hi, I'm blonde. Love me anyway?"

Current Mood: bouncy

theatricalmuse #20: Wise

Is there anyone in your life who you feel is exceptionally wise? Who, and how did you meet this person?


I didn't always think he was wise. He always had bright, clever moments, but wisdom came later. When we met, we didn't notice each other - well, Foreman had a different opinion - which I blame on House. Now, ultimately, I should be thanking House since it's his twisted hiring methods that landed us in the same fellowship - I got hired a pretty piece of art in the lobby, lovely and damaged; he got hired because his sort of estranged dad made a phone call. We didn't get picked by resumes' and scores, and maybe that's why our attention was mainly on House for awhile (my crush and awkward date aside).

He has these moments where he's surprisingly tender and kind. He was nice after we'd slept together (well, really, I jumped him while high) - he didn't make it weird, even though he could've. I still didn't think he was the one for me. It was almost a year before we slept together again (which was my idea again, only clearly stated instead of shoved against a wall). We had this agreement for uncomplicated sex, which sort of turned into a relationship or something. I ended it there, because I didn't think I cared about him, like that. I mean, my whole logic in picking him was because I felt he was the least likely person I could fall for. But, this was where it changed - or, at least, where the flaw in my perception got called out. I was the one who initiated inappropriate things - sex in the sleep lab, a patient's house, attempted in the janitor's closet - and I assume that the spoiled, rich guy would want the same. He wanted to go places, spend nights together, have meaningful sex. And, I ended it. He told me every Tuesday that he wanted us to be together, but it seemed like a joke until that night one of our patient's bit him and I had to take care of him. He just took my hands, looked in my eyes like we were in a movie, explained how it made no sense for a girl like me who cries over patients and puppies to feel nothing for him. Tuesdays became painful after that.

And, at this point, I feel I can both blame and thank House again. House fired him, and something in him broke. He gave up on Tuesday, said it was all stupid. He was profoundly miserable - though, oddly cute while drunk and rambling. I quit on Wednesday and found myself at his doorstep. I guess it took awhile, but it finally hit me when he wasn't there. I told him I didn't want to wait for Tuesday anymore. So, that's when he kissed me breathless, senseless and started a real relationship. Some part of me thinks he had this in mind from the start, which would prove that he is, in fact, wise. We went to Arizona during the summer; he got a nice job at the May Clinic - and, I was thinking of applying there as well since I'd done my residency at a Mayo Clinic prior to being hired by House. We put an offer down on a house in Scottsdale after he proposed. Yes, proposed. He was starting to plan this life for us there...three weeks ago.

The fact is, being hired by House was one of the best things that happened to him and being fired was one of the worst. We got a call from New Jersey, inviting us back to PPTH - not to work for House. He got a spot on the surgical staff, and I applied for an attending position in the ER - I felt like I could do a lot of good there, get it out of my system. It took three weeks for House to notice we were back. We're still in the process of settling into our lives, trying to make our future work here. The problem is that for all his tender, clever moments, he isn't handling this well. He said he spoke to House from the gallery and got an unsurprising sarcastic response. House visited me in the ER, and we had something of a pleasant conversation about how my blonde hair makes me look like a hooker. I'm not back because of House though. I'm here for my Robert Chase.

Current Mood: accomplished